Facebook is almost the root of evil for me at the moment. I mean I've read about others and how they turn on FB to find another person pregnant. I scoffed thinking ah I'll never feel like that.
HA...HA...HA.
Just turned on FB to be greeted with a private message. Hey folks we're pregnant...weren't really planning on it right now but hey these things happen (or something like that). My gut reaction was (if I had not been in public working) to cry and scream. But I have to say I am genuinely happy for her and her husband. Their wedding was in January and I knew they weren't preventing so I guess I saw that coming.
At this moment I am NOT down in the dumps. Like I said I wanted to cry but then I remembered the great words of Green Sprout (no word of a lie) who in a comment recently made me realise that I do not need to compare myself to others. I am on my own journey.
I guess what today has made me do is contemplate where I am at with this journey. Right this moment I have tallied up a list of people at similar age to myself who had gone off bc around the same time as me. Most probably did so after me and I am the one still ttc. Most of those people are pregnant or just had babies.
I know I keep saying that after the next cycle I'll get checked but I think the time has come to bite the bullet. I don't want to be in this space 12mths down the track. I'm afraid of what I will find out but then I have to be objective and think that maybe I'll find out nothing is wrong.
I'm not sure how I will cope if I find out something isn't right. I'm not sure how I will get my fella to join this part of the journey with me but I guess that's what I need to start planning.
Ok so a couple positives to round out the post...........(Lindsay you inspired this from me)
The sun is shining and it is warm. I am on school holidays for 2wks and today have completed all that I need to be ready for next term so I can relax until the 11th of October!
xx
Its hard seeing those types of messages and posts. I wish I could say it gets easier to hear these announcements but so far for me it has not. However all you can do is have a sad moment or two and move on.
ReplyDeleteGS is right and I'm glad you have that to fall back on. You might not have noticed but I think in your own way you are taking her words and using it as a postive boost.
On the Dr side of things, I had a hard time too making an appointment. I have always been worried that something might be wrong and it was a hard, emotional day to go. BUT you just might be suprised with how nice and supportive a doctor can be.
So happy to see the Postivie thoughts and a 2 week break!