12dpo

Warning this post will pretty much be another about nothing. I ALWAYS get like this in the 2ww. There's always so much floating around in my mind that I have to just type it out.

The wait is killing me. I was nearly tempted to test today, I walked past the bathroom and did a mental calculation in my head and thought "would a test work today?" and truth be told it probably would. Luckily I managed to keep on walking.

I'm pretty certain that this month is a big FAIL again though. I've been a little crampy, gassy, bloat and starting to get a little hormonal (irritable).

One thing I have noticed though is backache. Its something I haven't really had before except when I've had a UTI or wake up bursting for the loo. It's likely to be related to period of course but just noting it in case one day I get round to reading these posts and actually remembering what is new and what isn't.

Oh how I'd love to be able to ring my Mum on Sunday (Mother's Day here) and tell her she's going to be a grandmother! That would just make her year!!
Although if by some way of a miracle I actually get a bfp this month I'm not sure if I'd tell her then only because it'd be soooooo early. And I know that at line is a line but I'd still prefer to have it confirmed by a professional before telling anyone. Fark listen to me...bloody dreamer! IF I ever get a BFP there's no way I could keep it absolutely to myself. And as for the fella I have NO doubt that he will keep it quiet either. There will be someone he'll slip it to.

Aside story - a few years ago I thought I was pregnant (long before we were trying and I knew ANY thing about ttc or evap lines etc). Cutting a long story short the fella freaked out a bit. The next day I went to work and tested and unbeknown to me he's talking to some friends of ours and blurts out the story to not only them but other friends too. Needless to say I wasn't.

That's why I know he won't keep it quiet.

Like I said yesterday dreams are free and one day my dream WILL come true!!