Note to self: Never look at Facebook early in the morning, on CD2. It will only end in tears.
Hmmm I'm up earlyish today. Am trying to get back into the school routine for next week. Thought I'd check FB among other things to see what the haps was. There it was on my newsfeed. Right at the very top, the picture glaring at me like a neon sign. The dreaded ultrasound picture!!!!
Yep another one. This time a cousin. Younger than me by about 12mths. UTD. Didn't even really know she had a boyfriend. Fucken Up the Duff.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout. I didn't. I calmly wrote the obligatory Congratulations and carried on with my life.
I've been good at the FB announcements lately. I guess because they've been mostly far removed from my life. People I don't see very much. People I would expect to be having children. But I when 'that' person is one of your flesh and blood it stings a little. The other cousin who had a miscarriage a while back must feel like shit too. They would've been close in their pregnancies.
Oh well I can't change it now. What's done is done. Just a bit of a kick in the guts at CD2 that I have to rise above with a positive mind. I can do this. I can carry on. I will be pregnant. I will have a family.
It will happen for me.
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