On my drive home tonight I got to thinking, as you do on your 30min drive home. I got to thinking about my 'I'm pregnant FB status' that I will one day actually get to use and how I will make no bones about the struggle its been. This got me on to thinking about the whole infertility thing.
It dawned on me that we've been ttc well over a year(ok obviously that's not JUST dawned on me). Technically we are classed as infertile (aren't we?) but in my mind I don't think of myself as infertile. I don't class us as infertile at all. The way I'm not infertile because that brings up the image of NEVER being able to get pregnant. That getting pregnant is near impossible.
That is not me. I may be fertility challenged. I realise that's rather PC and all but really that's what I am. My lack of progesterone is a challenge to my fertility and that once that is sorted there is no reason to not assume that I am fertile and able to conceive.
Does that make sense?
I hate the thought I being thought of as infertile because to me that means I can't have kids. And THAT idea does not sit well with this girl at all.
Its not an idea I like to entertain so will stop right there with that thank you very much.
So moving on. Today in staff meeting I sat next to Ms IVF pregnant workmate/friend. She is due in June and is rather large (IMO) anyway she nudges me and points to her stomach which was being pummelled from the inside and giving great visuals on the outside. It was pretty cool. In fact it was awesome to watch. Can't wait till thats me.
But part of me didn't want to look. Only because I knew it would just torture me. It did. But only a little. It was ok really. Just made me a weeny bit jealous as these things do.
Anyway best be doing the dinner thing. xx
I remember making a post just like this when were approaching the 12 month mark. I felt exactly the same way. Infertile has a certain finality and I feel it should be reserved for the impossible. Everything else in between is simply just not ideal and may create a barrier to timely conception.
ReplyDeleteFor myself, I embraced the term "infertile". It made me feel like there was an explanation for we hadn't gotten pregnant. I never saw it to mean we would never get pregnant, only that we would need help in order to get there. However, I can totally see your point of view and absolutely wish you great success with the assistance of the progesterone cream!
ReplyDeleteGood point raised Kira! I definately like knowing why it hasn't work yet for us so I guess you could so I have embraced a little bit of infertility...just not willing to go the whole hog just yet lol.
ReplyDeleteI love your term - fertility challenged. It does sound more poisitive and less finite.
ReplyDelete