Freaking the Frick Out

28.



The numbers of day of an average cycle.

Sometimes the number of days of my cycle.

The age I have just turned.



As a rule I'm into birthdays. Or I was. Then I turned 25 and realised that shit this is not the life I had planned out. And that life is not likely to eventuate. So at 25 I found myself a little no so into birthdays. Then 26 came and I played it low key but that year I ditched the pill so it wasn't all bad. I had hope that perhaps some of my planned life would actually work out. Then came 27. I actually enjoyed that birthday. I felt I'd left some of the 'getting old' baggage behind. And I still had the hope of ttc with me. It was early days. Now 1 year later (tomorrow) I will be 28.



20 fricken 8 years old. It feels like yesterday I was at school not 10yrs ago. I guess its a good thing I feel so young really. But I'm not really into this birthday. I've had cards in the mail already but I've quietly put them up on the mantle and not said much.

Today the fella wanted to know why I was getting a card then suddenly exclaimed about my birthday. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even realise its tomorrow. BUT that's nothing new and I'm not complaining...its how we roll. I remember things..he's a man and does not. We don't buy presents very much which I'm ok with as there's nothing worse than trying to find a gift for the sake of it.

Don't get me wrong though. I have plenty to be happy and positive about in my life and I'm always thankful for that. Its just a moment of time for reflection and its making me melancholy is all.
And I've suddenly realised that I should have really made something for morning tea at work. Best go work on that I guess!