What does one do when the ones mother isn't herself?
I would say that's putting it lightly.
I'm worried about my mother. Probably the most worried I've been for a long time. That last time I got this worried was when I told her I wasn't coming home for xmas until boxing day and she melted down.
I *think* its the menopause. Last time she was like this was when she first started and she was a real cow. Then she started getting natural hormone therapy and came right. Its now been over 6mths since she last had any appt with them and she thinks her cream has expired so both of us are wondering if that is the issue and her hormones are out of whack. I hope so because otherwise I'm going to be really worried.
Today she text to say she quit her job. She works in a meat factory and has to work 2 wks day shift and 2 wks night shift (weeks being 4 days with 1 week day and weekends off). The night shift is absolutely wrecking her. She has a back problem that the doctor is trying to tell her is stress. Do you know how many times a doctor has told her she's stressed and she's actually been sick? Last time we talked she was totally overwhelmed with work and her back. She was over barely being able to walk in the mornings and being sore and tired.
She used to suffer from ME (google it I can't spell the real name). For at least 8 years of my childhood my mother couldn't drive because she was so exhausted. She developed all sorts of intolerances to food. She couldn't do her housework. I was 10 when she got sick and 18 when she started to get better. It is the single most memory I have of my mum. Then she got better and for 10years she has been AMAZING. Doing things I never expected my mother to do. She's afraid that its coming back though because that's how she feels. That's why she quit work because she doesn't want to run herself ragged and end up really sick again.
I'm still worried about my mum. My strong mum. The lady I can always rely on to help me sort myself out is crumbling. I'm scared she's depressed. I'm scared her and Dad aren't getting on. I'm scared because I don't know what to do about it. What can I do to help her? I'm not sure how to deal with this situation. I'm too young to be taking on this role.
I badly want to have kids so I can cheer her up! She'd love grandkids.
Uh oh blogging at work about to cry. oops.
I sent her a bio.mag for her back problems for her birthday. Her birthday isn't till next month but I sent it early. I had to feel like I was doing something. The Fella told me to buy it because he wouldn't live without one and she'll feel heaps better so I did - it cost a bomb but I did. I can't wait till she tries it.
*Deep Breath*
Everything will be ok. I try to relax and not panic till after next week when she gets her present and has her appt. Hopefully everything gets sorted from there.
Going to be devils advocate here and say quitting shift work may be a really, really good thing. Night shift is woeful. Absolutely, horribly woeful. I've done it and I only ever did two nights in a row as part of my rosters, let alone a week. It is long and tiring. Get to 3am and every single piece of your body is saying it is time to sleep, its almost nauseating. It is so difficult to do basic things. Minutes seem to take hours. Unless one of the lucky ones, sleeping during the day is nasty. Nothing like night time. Then it takes days for the body to readjust to living during the day again. It's like being permanently hung over. At the same time the body is trying to live at nights still so it won't let you sleep properly at night. Shift workers experience very high rates of chronic illness and that kind of messing with your internal body clock does not help where there is any kind of mental health stuff.
ReplyDeleteAs for what you can do? Aside from be there and try to provide the counter-balance, there isn't much. Change can only ever come from the person who needs it. It's a frightening thing being an onlooker. I've been in those shoes with my own Mum when her medical stuff has left her saying she wants to die. :-( Big hugs xxx