First of all...um YAY! I have a whole 8 followers!! Whoop whoop welcome to the crazy that is baby crazy kiwi. When I thought of that name I never really thought I'd actually become crazy with this whole deal but well here I am.
Last night I lay in bed concocting this blog post in my head. I can't remember a thing. I was feeling gutted with myself and with the Fella. CD13 saw me ovulate and neither of us could be bothered, nor last night as well. RAH!! The day of ov I must've been running some serious hormones cos I was fuming about all kinds of ridiculous rubbish. It was nuts...and naturally who wants to shag someone being a bitch and a sulk. So of course we didn't and I lay in bed tears falling thinking about how pathetic it was that once again I was crying about not having sex. That I was crying because I felt guilty for not having sex when I was so obviously ovulating. I was crying because I couldn't bring myself to jump the fella and put that pressure on him when he was tired. I was crying because I didn't even see the point in trying anymore. I am doubtful that this month is going to be THE month. Why should it be?
So stuff it. We got some in CD11 that'll have to be enough.
Anywho I feel like Dory except its not "Just keep swimming swimming swimming..." its more "I just keep waiting waiting waiting...".
Aside from having use of a room and time off work I'm not closer to getting that man tested. I asked if he'd have time in March he said he'd possibly get time this month. Not holding breath.
This Friday is out...he's working. Next week is starting to look better for both of us except Friday is his birthday. The big 4-0. I'm yet to establish whether a trip to provide a sample is on the cards but it could be...and like a friend suggested we could go out for a dinner and movie or something afterwards so who knows.
I just want to know. I just want to get to the fertility clinic. I just want to start the IVF and get this show on the road. I want to join that club everyone seems to be part of these days.
Hey! Hang in there, I definitely know where you are coming from. TJL took quite a bit of nagging before he got his ass to the clinic to get tested, I think they worry that it may be them more than we do, we just want to know so we know where to go from there. And it's weird, everytime I was ov I just didn't want sex and had to 'force myself' so it wasn't fun (or successful). IF sux bigtime, it is so mentally draining, but you are not alone on the journey, and I too am glad to have found a fellow kiwi.
ReplyDeleteBeat him if you have to, but get him there. Sell it to him this way: it will make you immensely happy and if you are happy, he will be, too!
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