Don't judge a book by its cover. There truly is something to that saying. And I think it whole heartedly applies to anyone in this whole fertility challenged and loss community.
I am learning more and more not to look at people with children and immediately think they had it easy.
On Saturday night we were at a wedding. We didn't really know many people other than the bride and groom but there was another couple we knew there. We were sitting around talking, can't remember what about initially, but one of them asked if we had children (we don't know this couple very well). With the Fella and I when we get asked this question it usually always ends up in him oversharing. So I normally say 'no not yet', he jumps forward and says 'no, not for the lack of trying...we've been trying for 2yrs...I'm going to have to ~insert a range of actions/words describing what he has to do in man talk depending on situation~' at this point I normally chide him and say people don't want to hear about that! It often amazes me how he can be so forward, I guess he finds it easier to say than me. Anywho so this was what happened when the couple asked about children.
To my amazement they replied in saying it took them a long time too - 5yrs nearly and 6 miscarriages before having a live baby. In total they've had 9 miscarriages and have 3 lovely daughters. She got it. She said it nearly sent her around the bend. We didn't really go into details, I didn't really want to, however it just showed me you never know where you may find a kindred spirit.
And its all the more reason not to hide behind a smile.
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