Comparisons

I've been giving myself a bit of a talking to this week and it all has to do with comparisons. You hear of mums being competitive and comparing their kids, their pregnancies, their lives with those in similar situations around them. I'm guilty of doing just that in the past week or so and all to my detriment. The only purpose making comparisons has served is to make me feel guilty and bad about myself.
Not cool.

Before I continue I'd like to put it right out there that each to their own. What a person decides to do with their pregnancy and their ensuing child is totally their choice. If I come across judgey that was never my intention as the point of this post is to point out where I've gone wrong with the comparing myself to others thing.

Anywho...

So comparisons I've been making mainly relate to the area of exercise.

As you may know I try to be pretty active, especially with playing netball for 7mths of the year and all that. However while doing IVF I tacked back the activity quite a bit as having ovaries the size of oranges wasn't so much fun for running and then of course there was egg collection then the tww. Then I was utd. I've tried to maintain circuit training and was still playing Friday netball for a bit there, other than that nadda. I'm too tired! Anyway a girl on my netball team just had her baby girl and she played netball the whole winter season and there's another girl I know who's 20wks and still playing! So cue the comparisons. I've been putting pressure on myself for not feeling comfortable running or playing netball. I feel like I should continue as normal seeing it's so early. But another side of my thinks I should just do what I feel is right which given the tiredness and sicky feeling in the afternoon...not alot lol. But at the very least walking or cycling.
So this was where I was until about Thursday last week. Then I spilled the beans to a couple girls on my team (coach and manager) and the coach straight away said I wasn't to play netball. The relief from hearing that was immense. I don't know why I felt I needed validation but those little words provided what I needed. They assured me I was on the right track. So no more comparisons in that respect, just a plan to get moving more often in the form of a walk or whatever.

Then there's the whole cloth nappy vs disposable nappy debate. People I work with don't know I'm utd but one is nearly due herself (#3) and we were discussing nappies. She is a disposable user (and bottle feeder from day one) and was going on about how all her friends were going to be cloth users and straight away switched to disposables and why would you want to do extra washing yada yada. I bit my tongue but I fully intend to use cloth nappies and I don't care how hard, messy or whatever they are at the end of the day we cannot afford to be spending big money on and item like that and the waste they create is just ridiculous. But of course I feel like a naive dumbass when I hear people talking like that because it makes me feel like I'll be stupid for using them.

Moving along because I'm raving a bit. Does anyone get what I'm thinking?

In other news - I had a good rise in my bloods on Monday but they wanted me to do another this coming Monday so off I go again. Then Thursday is scan day!
Feeling ok generally - the pessaries are driving me mental. It is so sticky and tar like when it exits the hooha that it gives me a nappy rash like reaction. Hopefully only 6 wks left on those. I'm tired in the afternoon but have a random energy spurt about 8:30pm. Feel sickly on and off depending on the day and food and water. Trying hard to not to compare how I'm feeling now to the last time. I have to keep reminding myself I am only 6wk 2days.

So there I will conclude. Very much looking forward to Thursday evening when I will know my fate.....