RAH!!!

So I had physio today. *Sigh*. Its possible that I have ruptured my ACL. It really is too soon to tell but he put it out there due to the immediate swelling and the looseness AND the fact I keep injuring it over and over. No netball for at least a month. No exercise until further notice (that being gym, bike etc). I need to give this thing time to chill out and get better. We won't know how bad the whole thing is until the swelling goes down. He might end up referring me to a specialist for an mri and the like to see if there's any further damage but they won't do anything for at least 8wks. If shit has happened (and knowing my luck it will have) then reconstruction in an option depending on how far I want to go. I told him I wasn 't ready to give up netball or sport being not even 30 so that might indicate how far I'm willing to go. I'm trying to not get too down about it for now although it is hard because now I'm constantly thinking 'should I eat this or that' due to not being able to work it off. Meh!! If I were the kind of person who followed a faith then I would probably be asking 'whoever' to make clear the plan in life for me because its getting a bit ridiculous really. I do in some part believe that things happen for a reason and that I need to have faith in the fact that life will turn out ok in the end but you can't imagine that sometimes right now its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Surely I've endured my lot. The universe has taken away my right to enjoy the art of getting pregnant and now its taking away my right to do the one thing that keeps me sane (oh crap I think I might cry). Netball keeps me sane. Its my one distraction, the one thing that keeps me going. Truly it is. And then..... I turn on FuckingEveryoneIsPregnantBook. Giant picture of a scan. Another cousin is pregnant. For fucks sake. This is her second. She has been pregnant now twice to my none. She makes number 7 of the cousins on that side. 4 have popped already. FAAAAARKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow I will ring to book in my bloods for the natural fertility chick. I'm almost tempted not to even bother with it but think I will until the Fella gets tested. When I ring I will enquire about this whole man testing thing next weekend and try get to talk to the doctor. I HAVE to do something. Last night I watched another episode of Gu.iliana and Bi.ll. In this particular one she was talking to a lady who was 6mths pregnant. This lady exclaimed how she tried and tried forever to get pregnant and then literally the second they gave up bam UTD. I couldn't believe my ears. Poor Guil'ana I felt terrible for her. And couldn't believe that someone who'd 'tried' for so long would say that but then I guess it worked for her so she's a believer. Is there merit in the just relax it will happen theory? It seems to happen so often. So now my question is how do I manage this relax and it will happen thing? I want to be mother SOOOOOOO bad. I can't stand it, its making me nuts.