Worry Wart

I'd love some advice on how to not worry so much about things. Is it just something you're genetically disposed to do or is it learnt?

My mum is a worrier so does that mean thats why I am? Or do I just have an over active imagination.

Why all this talk about worry?

Lets use last night as an example. So I had been working at the local a&p show (I guess you call it a county fair in the states or something like that....its a display of all things farmish) all day. The Fella had been busy round home then went off working. For the uninitiated for small town NZ the a&p show is the one big day of the year, everyone comes to town and the pubs are just rocking afterwards. That aside I will continue. So I finished a big day at the show and got home around 8ish. The Fella was still out and that's nothing new. Normally he's home not long after dark if he's working.

Anyway I went to bed and passed out then suddenly at 12.30am I woke up and there was no boy beside me! So at this point I start to worry. Not too much but just enough. I start rationlising in my head what the situation might be. I wasn't sure exactly where he'd gone to work so that didn't help. I thought he was near town and figured that he'd probably stopped at the pub or something and would be home when it closed (knowing him). But then this created a whole new aspect of worry. He shouldn't be driving because he'd be drinking and what will happen if he gets pulled over? Or drives and crashes? I tried to not get too carried away because I've been in that same situation so many times that I try to just relax. My plan always is to panic if he's not home by morning.
So anywho I couldn't go back to sleep so I tried to just close my eyes and doze. I was just waiting for the phonecall bearing bad news.

To cut a long story short at 2.30am the Fella calls me. He wasn't in town he had stopped at someones house and yes he'd been drinking. The other guy then gets on the phone and tells me the Fella will stay the night and he'll send him home in the morning. I was relieved but I still couldn't sleep. Evidently the Fella called again an hour later and being the pig head he is would not accept a pick up from me and showed up home. Idiot. But we're not here to unpick that. I'll make sure he knows it.

I just would love to be able to go to bed when he's not home and go to sleep and not worry so much. I'm often in this situation, not because he's always off getting boozed (although from some of my posts you'd think so...he's actually not that bad just seems like), but because he works so hard and has no concept of time. When it gets dark he roughly knows what time it is but before that no idea. He often comes in and goes "Shit is it that time already!?". Like I said no. idea.

After 6 years of him I know this so try to placate myself with it when its 10pm and he's been working and not home. I remind myself that it takes x-time to drive from there to here etc etc.

But I sill worry. Guess it means I love him lots huh?

Then there's that whole pigheadedness of NZ men/people (mainly men) who are too proud to stay the night if they've been drinking. It is NAUGHTY and terrible. As a nation we're working really hard to change the culture but its a slow process. This is abit off the topic but we used to have this campaign where it displayed what not to do and what you were if you drank and drove (B.loo.dy Idiot) now they're swinging towards to what we call L.egend Ads where it makes being the hero and stopping someone drinking the 'in' thing to do. The ad below is a huge hit with our young people who can recite that ad word for word and are starting to practice what it preaches.

It's pretty colloquial in its language...not a great reflection of the kiwi way of speaking but its on the terms of young people.

Here it is....