Looking Back and Forward

Sidenote: the test didn't happen. No drama just ran out of time. Still plenty of time left. That aside we had a great time out together yesterday so I've got that to be thankful for.

Anyway that's not what I wanted to blog about.

With 2011 ending and 2012 about to begin I kinda feel I should sum life up somehow. Its a bit cliche really but sometimes it helps to reflect.

I'm not really sure where to start.

Looking Back.......

I started 2011 in Perth on holiday with the girls. I truly thought looking back that by the end of this year I would at least have some idea about why I'm not pregnant. I guess I do in some respects but in others not so much. I mean I know what needs to happen, obviously 2011 it just wasn't meant to happen.

Sometimes I wonder if everyone's theory is correct and the universe is waiting for the right moment why isn't now right? Or what am I going to have to face in order to be ready. Do I need to change my job? Am I to face some major sadness?
Probably not like that at all and its nature taking its course.

Most of the time I would say I am at peace with my situation....until the next FB announcement lol.

I would say 2011 has mostly been a good year. I've had numerous holidays away and enjoyed a good life in that respect. This year I got a temporary promotion and learnt to be less tight financially. Most people would find that weird as many are about saving. I am too and I still do save significant amounts of money each month, however I also started to enjoy my earnings more. I figure as long as I'm sensible I should spend money while I don't have children. Random I know.

My health has been good. Natural fertility in the most sense is working despite not coming up with the goods yet. I feel 100% better each cycle than I did a year ago.

We got to experience the rugby world cup first hand. That hands down is my single most favourite thing about this year. I think if hadn't had done that this year would've been more doom that is worth writing about.

The fact I'm not pregnant, although at peace with the journey, is still a sore point. It always will be the year that 80% of my social circle became pregnant or gave birth. There's nothing that can change that and nothing that can quell that initial pain of finding out each time. It hurts but at least I have a group of very supportive people around me. I love them for that.

Looking Forward......

2012, the year the world is supposed to end. I don't buy a second of that hogwash and intend of living my life as is thank you very much.

I have no doubt that 2012 will see us get some answers in regards to ttc. It may not give us the baby but we'll be closer to it. If its IVF that's needed I have the money needed...being frugal gets you somewhere I tell ya.

I am determined to make this coming year about health. Particularly on the Fella's part. His teeth a atrocious. I finally booked him in the get them fixed. I have no doubt they are what contributes to his general feeling of yuck. He also has ulcers on his bowel and I want to find a natural approach to helping those be managed more. Both of us need to focus on taking the vitamens more regularly too.

My resolution for 2011 was to use sunscreen properly. I have become scared of melonoma (sp) and I know that starting to care now won't make up for years of not caring but its a start. I think I've done pretty well in not getting sunburnt much this year so I want to continue that. I also want to have my moles checked. My father is going through a wee prostrate scare...its looking like it may be early cancer so I its forcing me to think. Whatever it is for him its treatable. thank god.

Any resolutions I make have to be realistic hence the sunscreen. So this year I've decided to cut out the F and C (C U Next Tuesday - like that? Its what a couple of workmates and use as a code when we're pissed) words. Just those two words. They're great at getting their point across for sure and will still be used on the blog when needed (hey I'm not angel!!) but verbally I will try not to use them. Its time to grow up. All my friends have young children and its not fair for them to hear it. It doesn't matter that most friends will tell you that their children hear those words all the time. So as of tomorrow those words will be thought and alternatives used. Wish me luck on this people its going to be hard.

And that's about it on 2012.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year my friends!!!!! I hope the coming year brings you all the happiness in the world xxx