Life is complicated

I can't understand why life needs to be so complicated. Is it not enough that I've had to struggle for 4.5 years to get pregnant. Is it not enough that we have had to negotiate the donor field? We've been raked through the coals and back. We've had 4 iui that haven't worked. We got two embryo's from 26 eggs collected. Embryos that are supposed to be extra good ones. Looking good and all that.

Yet life continues to be difficult. Seriously?

I can't even get a definite answer on the pregnancy test?

HcG is 16 as of today. My next test is Saturday to see if it has risen. According to my nurse 5 and below is not pregnant, 25 + is pregnant the in between is neither. Ideally they'd like a number of 50 or more.

WTF. Seriously?

I cried my eyes out after getting off the phone. Told my beloved via text (I couldn't talk to him in my state and he's working anyway) then told two of my friends who'd been asking after me.
The girls were amazingly positive and both told me to not count myself out yet. Even the Fella when he rang was mildly optimistic (he by the way is amazing I can't wait until he comes home!!).
Everyone on the forums were positive too.

I'm not so hopeful. I'm trying to be realistic about this as much as it hurts.

Of course I did oodles of google reading with mixed results. Quite a few people have had low hcg go on to be a baby. Quite a few have not. Then there's the tables which say at 4 wks which is me 5-?? (something in the hundreds) is normal and the point is that it doubles in the appropriate time. So by Saturday I should be looking for something higher than 64. Still not high enough really.

I hope it's not ectopic or something stupid like that.

I don't think its going to end well. Fuck this shit. It isn't going to end well.

RAH!!!!!!!!

Just wish my period would turn up so I can move on. It sucks that so little hcg can cause so many symptoms.
Peeing a lot, sore nipples, itchy nipples, waking up gagging for water and headachy, cramps,  NO PERIOD not even a dot of spotting.

I don't even have any more HPT's to do while I wait for Saturday.

Ho hum this journey is dumb.