Reading back I was in a real funk and things were getting on top of me. I was feeling really unsure about me and the Fella. It's hard to keep up the vibe when you haven't been in the same room for a month.
I ended up having another scan and bloods on Monday and have transfer down for Saturday. I'm excited now and I have a little bit of hope.
I'll admit now I was dreading texting the fella to tell him. This journey has been hard on him. He who can take or leave kids in his life. He who has agreed to use a donor. It's not been a walk in the park. He particularly has had to do a lot of soul searching. There's always a little bit of me that worries he will change his mind especially when we get to a point like this . It's not a nice feeling.
Anyway so I did text him. He wished me luck. It dampened my fear a little. Told him I loved him and hoped he was ok (there's been a lot of other shit he's been dealing with work wise). Much later he replied to assure me he was ok, the bank is giving him a lil extra on the mortgage and he'll be home in 6 weeks!!! And that he misses home! Oh I almost cried to read that I was so relieved.
Now I have a time frame to work with. Cue deep sigh.
My outlook on life is much improved.
So strange as I never saw myself pining so much but I've even lost 2kg while he's been gone. I'm the lightest I've been in a loooong time like I can't even remember a time I saw the number 74(.9) on the scales.
In other news grandma has perked up a lot. Took her off the morphine which helped, she's even cracking jokes lol. We'll know more on Monday about her next steps.
Yesterday I bought material to see a blanket I found on pin..trest. Cute baby type material eek. And I got wool because I've been making Peggy squares which I will turn into a blanket for baby (I am going to have a baby power of the positive mind) with the help of my mum. She doesn't know it yet though!
Anywho time to retire to bed a happy lady :) bring on Saturday!
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