Keeping Faith

CD26
9dpo

I've been tossing up what my next post would be for a few days now. After my last post I was a bit lost as to how to proceed next. I realise my choice of assistance (for want to another word) in this journey is unconventional and that I post regularly about frustration etc etc without taking the conventional path and seeking help from medical professionals (yet). I know what I 'need' to do but I'm actually ok with the path we're on right now.

Anywho in the past few days it became clear to me that despite the path I'm on I need to keep faith in myself and trust my body. As soon as the doubt creeps in so does posts like the other day. Posts where I question and doubt myself. You'd think I'd have learnt this in the past 2yrs but obviously I needed a reminder.

The other day I was sure AF was just around the corner. I was so gassy and crampy and just feeling yuck. Well clearly I jumped the gun there. The next day I was ok again. A few stabbing pains either side and sore bb's but that's it. Trust your body Stacey. That is the lession we're learning here. Truuuust.

Hmm moving on.
Note to self - never tell yourself you're not allowed to drink alcohol it will only fuel your desire for an evening tipple. I'm trying to not drink during my tww's. I know I really shouldn't be drinking at all but a girl needs a wee drink here and there after this long in the game. Anywho this weekend is the first in the 2ww. Normally I come home of a Friday and devour a beer or two. Its my way of letting the week go and settling into the weekend. And on a Saturday if at home I might have another after a hard day in the garden or the like. Last night I tried with all my might to avoid a drink. We didn't have any beer so that helped until the Fella and his friend cracked open a vodka, blackcurrent and apple ready-mix. Mmmmmm delish. I had one. I was literally craving it. I had another tonight, again I was licking my lips at thought of it while mowing the lawns. Craving it.

Just to be clear I do not have a drinking problem!!!! I totally can live without it, lol although the above doesn't really read like that does it? My point is it's just like dieting and telling yourself you can't have chocolate. Doesn't work. You immediately seek out chocolate in mammoth proportions. Replace chocolate with drink and you've got me right now.

Moving on. Not much else to tell from here. Had a great day in the garden, the sun was out after a fashion and it turned into a wonderful day. Tomorrow I'm babysitting for a friend - 3.5 year old and 18mth old girls. Going to be fun fun fun!!!!