If there's one way to tell whether or not something is REALLY bothering me its sleep patterns.
I haven't suffered poor sleep many times in my life but when something is REALLY up then I start waking in the night and not being able to go back to sleep for some hours.
When I was at university I fell hard for this guy. It was short lived relationship but for the few months after we still had contact (upon reflection he strung me along). Anyway I spent many nights awake over it. It took a loooong time to get over that.
That was 10 years ago and since I haven't had that problem until now.
I wouldn't say its real bad but I am certainly finding myself waking in the night, usually because the cat wakes me or the fella or something, and taking quite a bit of time to go back to sleep. I'm not complaining about it even though it does suck to be tired a lot but I just need to be aware.
Sometimes I don't even think about anything important but am wide awake other times I contemplate the near future.
You can imagine what crosses my mind right? What will the specialist tell us? Will ivf be our option? Will it work? WHEN will this all happen? Now that is the one that comes up the most. Oh to be able to predict the future huh.
The other night I started to get all antsy about having an operation. I've never had one. Never been knocked out and have no idea what it all involves. Probably pay to stop thinking about it right now cos I can feel myself getting freaked again. I have this thing about 'things' down my throat. I've always had this fear of having to get that tube thing down my throat (as seen on all good medical shows lol). I have a mental block about swallowing large pills. Small ones are ok large not so much. I know it sounds pathetic but its a 'thing' and I have it. I think it stems from a near choking as a child or I don't like the sensation or something. Who knows.
Anyway just had to get that all off my chest. Hopefully it helps me sleep a bit better. Weekend tomorrow yay!! Will be up early to have a look at the opening ceremony before going to netball.
I had to be anesthetized twice - I was having weird chest pain, and the first time they scoped my throat, the second time was to remove my gallbladder. I remember being pretty scared... but it all worked out just fine. I have some funky little scars, and one less gallbladder, and no longer have searing pain. Mission accomplished :)
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