That post no one thinks they'll have to write....

I'm sitting here, at home, on leave from work until after Easter. I'm trying to work on some reports that are due to be shared with parents in a few weeks but my mind is a bit all over the show.

Understandable I suppose when yesterday we were told our baby's brain  wasn't developing as it should, in a major way, and that the prognosis was poor at best. 

We've had to make the worst possible choice that I never ever imagined I'd have to make. Our choices lay between stopping now and carrying on to have a severely disabled baby that may live 6wks if we are lucky. We've gone with the first option. 

I know we waited a long time for this baby but our dream is not going to be what we'd planned for so we have to mourn that and know this is for the best. It hurts and I know the time to come will be horrendous as we go through birth and what comes after but we will get through it and come out the other side ok. 

It has brought us closer when I didn't think we could get closer. My darling has been amazing in ways I never expected. I am proud of his strength and support. People around us have been amazing with flowers and food being dropped off every day. I've been overwhelmed by the level of emotion shown by everyone. It has very much humbled me. 

As sad as I feel I know we can get through this, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger xx