Making THE appointment.

I can't remember what my last post was about. So if I repeat myself forgive me.

Last week I was determined to get confirmation from the Fella that we could move ahead with THE appointment. That being the appointment where they run through the IUI process and we pick our donor.

I asked one day last week if it would be ok to make the appointment and he said yes. Then he tells me doesn't matter when because he didn't think he needed to go. Umm.....say what? Yeah so it turns out he'd rather not know anything about the donor in order to get through it. I must mentioned that the timing of this discuss was awful but I was nervous about asking him because I know its hard for him. He'd not long been home and we were discussing the next couple days etc and he was on a mission to go do some other stuff that needed doing so not really the most ideal time to be bringing up something so important.

So from there I left it. I didn't make the appointment.
Then we went away overnight yesterday. We watched a game of rugby with friends then stayed overnight and went out for dinner and drinks. It was loooooovely. We had fun. We hung out like we haven't hung out for a long time. It was comfortable. We were relaxed. It was nice. Like sooooo nice I wish we could bottle it up and use it all the time.

Anyway. From this little excursion away I got a feeling that things would be ok. Last week I was feeling like I didn't know if we should be pushing forward if it was so hard for him and that I didn't know what that meant for us because I can't be childfree. Just can't. But now I feel lots better.

He kept saying little things in passing through conversation like when we were discussing going to the same game next year he'd say 'well you'll be pregnant then' and stuff like that. Then on the way home he said just pick the donor and he'll learn to cope with it.

So there hasn't been a big, deep, conversation about it but I feel more at peace than I have for awhile.

Thank god.

Tomorrow I will make the appointment. Hopefully I don't have to wait long because I really want to try get in on my March cycle. And hopefully I'm uber fertile and it doesn't take long. And then I'll be UTD on my Europe trip but that's ok I'll do anything to have this work out.
And the other cool thing is that the couple we were away with who hae 3 children already are planning a fourth so we might be UTD together - how nice would that be.

Ok I totally need to come down from the clouds....