Then I couldn't stop. I was beside myself almost. My glass is full to over flowing. I don't seem to be able to handle things like I could before. I'm constantly moving, doing, organising, thinking about the next thing that needs to be sorted. Guess it's catching up with me.
Granted work has been really full on. Than another committee I chair has had an issue which I had to resolve.
I feel guilt all the time. Like if I sleep in I feel bad for wasting time. Or eat something sugary I feel bad for not watching what I eat. Every Saturday I go play netball then Sunday I play in the garden.....maybe this weekend I'll just laze around a bit to take the pressure off or something.
My body keeps getting injured so I feel bad for not exercising and trying to strengthen the parts that need it but how can I when I'm injured?
I don't know when my period will come and that upsets me. I just want to know what my future will bring.
Every time I go to netball all the conversation ever is about is babies and pregnancy and shit I can barely relate to. Two more games and it's done. Maybe then things will calm down.
The fella asked last night if I need to go to the doctor and get some pills. I don't think I do I just need to get it out. And cry when I need to.
Guess it's hormones too. AF is probably right around the corner.
Please don't be hard on yourself. There is no one way to grieve, no right or wrong, it is what it is. I can only guess how hard netball is for you, just hang in there, sometimes it's all we can do. Sending you huge cyber hugs!
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