Here I sit. Grinning through the pain in abdomen after yet another egg collection. Yes pain. Is it just me that feels some rather full on pain after EC? I can barely stand up straight sometimes. I mean obviously its gonna hurt sticking a needle into ovaries but I'm sure others haven't found it this rough.
Anyway I'm feeling mixed emotions about it all. They got 11 eggs out but there were a few more follies in there I think. Bit gutted because 6 weren't mature so 5 were injected and only 4 have fertilised normally.
I KNOW I need to be thankful about the fact that I got something to fertilise and that I have a chance. But I feel that it's all going down the toilet right in front of my eyes. My dream of motherhood is going to be ended without anything to show for it. That's how I feel but it may be reality. We will know on Thursday what has made it. I just hope something makes it.
Last time I had 8 turn into 2. That's what freaks me out.
$12,000 down and there's a chance I have nothing to show for it.
I AM trying to stay positive I really am. I'm distracting myself (as much as you can with the pain I'm feeling) with school work and reading. On Monday school goes back so I'll have that to keep me busy.
I can't dwell too much or I'll lose the plot. I really will lose the plot.
The cycle is freeze all so if we do get some good news this week I still have to wait until after my review appointment on November 14th before FET and chances are the doctor will say wait another cycle so that'll mean it will be January before I get to transfer anything.
One. Week. At. A. Time.
(Yes I know I sound like a spoiled brat - some ppl don't get this far).
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