Wonderment and Awe

There is this H.abit of M.ind that we talk about at school called Responding to the World with Wonder.ment and Awe.

It's a very adept way to explain how I've been feeling since that magic day on Thursday.

Friday I was just walking around marvelling that inside of me a little life was growing and if I didn't know it I'd hardly notice!

It actually takes some sinking in when you've wanted this for soooooo long.

I'd sit in class and my mind would wander to the fact that I'm HAVING A BABY!!! A BABY. And I'm only 4 wks along so I can't really tell anyone yet. Which sucks by the way. Admittedly I have told a few people. How the heck I'll keep it quiet is beyond me.

Anyway. As the weekend has worn on I've become used to the idea. The fact my nipples are tender, I'm thirsty, I get yucky if I don't eat  and a backache at night are proof its happening.

Telling the Fella was interesting. He actually had the forethought to ask how the blood test went. I just looked at him and he knew straight away. Thankfully he didn't completely freak out but I know it's taking some getting used to for him. He's already quizzed me on money and work and how will I manage lol. The random shit he asks is funny. He's definitely reserved about it but he'll come around to it I know it.

Friday saw some unfortunate news hit us too though. My grandmother who had been very ill passed away. So here I was basking in the glory of finally being pregnant then I get the phone call from my Dad. My dad who didn't know. So I blurted it out. I wanted to tell them in a nice way but fuck I just had to tell him. He was so overjoyed he almost cried!! Then he insisted I call my mum. Mum's been with my grandmother who lives 6 hours away from where my parents live so they weren't in the same house. I'd not really spoken to my mum in the last little while other than texts because both of us would have been a puddle of tears and wanted to save each other from that. Plus I didn't want my mum to stress about my situation which was stupid cos she did any way. So I called her. Talked a bit about grandma then spilt the beans. And she was so happy she cried and I cried and it was soooo bittersweet.

Not how I wanted to tell them but never mind. I'll get to tell my brother in person when I head up to the funeral later this week. I'll have to think of a special way to do it.

So yeah that's my weekend.

Yesterday at netball was funny.

We were having a talk after our game and one of the girls was commenting on her game and just blurted that she's pregnant! So secretly I told her I was too, she's about 5 wks ahead of me and it's her fourth child. Not entirely planned so she's a bit shocked at the moment. Along with another girl that's stopped playing as she's 20wks already there's three of us. So of course the whole drive home there was comment after comment about pregnancy which I giggled about because no one knew about me being pregnant too. Wait till they find out.

Not much else to report. Can't wait for my blood results tomorrow which I won't get until Tuesday then hopefully finding out when my scan is. I so hope this continues well!!