Hopefulness

On Friday night we bought a new car! We've hummed and haaa'd all week, ok for months, about getting a new one then found the deal of all deals online and decided it was now or never. The decision was based on we might as well do it while I'm earning good money, that my car has maybe a couple years left in it, that we could possibly sell my car to the brother in law who needs a car all that kind of stuff. Never mind its well over due!!! My old car is just that OLD and gross. The good truck will get used over the summer for work purposes and that means I may get stranded with no car.

Actually I'm not going to justify it any longer! We got a new car and the Fella has flown up to the big smoke to drive it home today. EEEK I can't wait. Its nice to have a little bit of something good right now. And when I reflect on the year that has been me turning 30 it ain't all bad. I got my first big trip overseas, a nice deck and a new car. I might've missed the boat in the baby stakes 4 times and that hurts but there are good things about this life too. Maybe the universe is waiting until I've made that big purchase to slam me with twins or something. I doubt it but a girl can dream.

In a week I get to talk to the specialist about my HSG and finally find out what happens next! The Fella is still angling for waiting for funded IVF. And now that I've gone and spent 20k on a new car well it looks like that's what'll have to happen. I haven't gone there in my mind yet. I'm waiting until Monday and going from there. I'm definitely going to ask about the progesterone thing. I just want to know what his thoughts are on the issue. I don't think it'll change the fact we're going to have IVF. And the only reason I want to pay for IVF is that the summer hols are by far better in terms of what I have to deal with stress-wise. I can come and go as I please and the like without awkward conversations and so on. Good lord it makes me stress just thinking about it.

In about a month we hit the 4 year mark of ttc. FLIP I NEVER thought we'd get this far. I thought 2 yes but flipping 4? Gosh darn it.

*takes deep breath*

Its ok I will survive. I will just put this whole sh** arse time down to the universes plan for us. Obviously there are things that I just don't know about my destiny.

Anyway I'd best get on to some work. I've a student teacher at the moment so I've got time on my hands lol.